Funerals, and why Don Bosco said, “A piece of heaven fixes everything.”

 There is something powerful about gathering as a family after a loss.  At a funeral mass today, as we walked by the coffin, there was no denying the death that had been undergone, the finality of the loss, or the silent suffering of a family that has said goodbye to a significant member.

At the funeral for my friend’s father, the words she spoke last night came to mind.  “He was a good and holy man, who lived a life that was faithful and true,” she said.  She told us Sisters how after his wife left him for someone else, he cared for the kids, and never even thought of remarrying.  His vows were for life.  What a beautiful example of fidelity in marriage.  And, she said, “He was also faithful to God,” bringing those children to weekly mass.  Apparently, this man worked three jobs, and returning after 2 a.m., he brought the kids to weekly Mass, just the same.

In our world which is so affected by a lack of fidelity – less that 20% of Catholics practice their religion, we are told, and in a time when divorce prevails – some 50% of those who are married today will be divorced – it is impressive to see someone who was so upright in remaining faithful to both human and divine commitments.  What a beautiful message to his children and grandchildren this man sent.  His silent refusal to go along and “move on” without fulfilling his first promise speaks loudly to me of what is meant when we say we will be “true to death”.  His witness of following the third Commandment, even though he could easily have excused himself for exhaustion, speaks of really putting God first!

One of my favorite sayings of Don Bosco is, “A piece of heaven fixes everything.”  I love that saying because in so many ways, it rings true in my life….it forces me to ask, “What is really important?”  “What really matters?”  “In the end, when I stand before God, will this truly be important?”  I wish I had known my friend’s dad personally.  I’d like to thank him for making this all so real, for making me realize how little things are irrelevant when we think of our eternity with God.

A friend of mine teases me, saying I often reply, “Whatever.”  I guess that is because in my childhood, my parents always reminded us that what most preterbs us is frequently of little or no consequence.  So, Don Bosco and Joe and RoseMary Clair had a lot in common.   They all looked much more at the big picture and the eternal importance of so many very little things.

Today, I promise to recall what is really important, and to focus on that so as to grow closer to God.  After a few years – 80 or so – that is all that will truly matter!

Happiness – the Road to Sanctity

One of the characteristics of Salesian holiness is happiness.  In fact, we know how often we see a child who has just received the Sacrament of Reconciliation, and we know how happy they are as they leave, to be in a state of grace.  I know I have had this same sensation, and have heard others speak of it.

Smiling Saint

In his lifetime, St. John Bosco often encouraged the young people he worked with to be happy.  There is something simple and child-like about joy and Jesus told us to become like little children.  St. Dominic Savio, one of St. John Bosco’s pupils even began a group called, “The Society of Happiness.”  

Here we can see a picture of Don Bosco, taken in the 1800’s.  Go ahead and look at many other pictures from that era and you will see something different about “Johnny B” as some of the kids in our schools affectionately call him…yes, this Saint, this man of the 1800’s is there with a full smile on his face.  It’s amazing to see and evident that the joy he nurtured in his heart evidently spilled over!

Mother Mazzarello, the Co-Foundress of the Salesian Sisters, together with Don Bosco is seen in very few photos.  This is because she lived in a very rural and remote part of Italy, and unlike John Bosco, was not near the city.  In both pictures we have, Mother Mazzarello was very sick, so her face lacks the smile that is common in so many of Don Bosco’s pictures.  But what we do have are the words of our Mother.  “Happiness,” she said, “is a sign of a heart that loves the Lord very much.” 

Today, I would encourage all of us to think about and promote joy in ourselves and in others.  It’s All Saints’ Day!  Maybe we need to begin again; maybe it’s time to go to Confession, but God calls us to that immense joy that cannot be taken from us.  Let’s not only nurture joy in ourselves, but by our good deeds and great kindness, promote joy in others.

Below, I’m sharing one of my all-time favorite videos.  I’ve seen groups of adults crack up at little Ethan, and his happiness at the simplest things in life.  My wish for you: that you can live this child-like simplicity and be fully happy…it is a sure road to holiness and a sign that you are in God’s grace.

The Power of a Smile

Today was a great day at the General House of the Daughters of Mary Help of Christians!  It was our day to say thanks to an extraordinary woman who has dedicated the last eighteen years of her life to us, her Daughters.  For six years, Sr. Antonia Colombo, FMA was a Visiting Councilor for the Salesian Sisters.  In this task, she went often to visit the different communities of our Salesian world.  She listened to the Sisters and got to know a bit about our presence throughout the world.  Then, she was asked, and accepted to me our Mother General.  Though the name sounds official, and even a little military, we just call her “Mother” and she has really been like a mother to all of us – over 14,000 Daughters of Mary Help of Christians – and Mother Antonia’s Sisters and Daughters. 

Last night, Mother Antonia thanked the Sisters of the General House for the work they have done in preparation for the chapter, but also in accompanying her in the last eighteen years of her life.  You can read more about that here.

In the last few months, living here at the General House, “Casa Generalizia” it has been impressive to see this very unassuming woman, often called to multiple tasks, and often called upon to speak, act so humbly.  I was impressed to see her helping Sisters as they arrived for our General Chapter.  She was there to welcome us, to ask if we needed help.  She even often asks me how the task of translating is going.  Really, she seems to have an eye for everyone, especially the least. 

The most disarming thing about Mother Antonia is definitively her smile…it’s amazing!  Somehow, when this woman looks at you and smiles, there is a sense that she wishes to share her life and her love with you – that she cares about you and can see Jesus within you.  She never seems to lose sight of Jesus within the person she is addressing, or of actually being the presence of Jesus for those who surround her.  In fact, one of my favorite things I read that she wrote, was,

In a culture of the transient, which distances people from that which is essential, being tangible signs that point to Someone Else is transmitting the awareness of the primacy of the spirit, of the importance of following Jesus with a passionate love, so that we will not be invisible witnesses to Him, but His hands, His feet, His heart that wants to embrace the world, to give Himself to the last drop, so that all of us can have life and hope.

Let’s pray that every Salesian Sister and every member of this “vast movement” known as the Salesian Family can in fact become Jesus hands, feet, and heart, to embrace the world, and as Don Bosco and Mary Mazzarello did, give our selves to the last drop.  Only then will we unleash the real power of love – the power of our smile!

Changes…conversions…and a future Sister.

Here is an interesting news piece that a Salesian priest, Fr. Mike sent to me today…

Hollywood screenwriter returns to Cleveland, turns life over to GodCLEVELAND (CNS) — The Gospel of Luke’s prodigal son has nothing on Joe Eszterhas. A self-described “Hollywood animal,” Eszterhas is best known for writing such adult-themed thrillers as “Basic Instinct” and “Jagged Edge.” He is a guy who seemed to live his earlier life as if the seven deadly sins were a personal to-do list. But then Eszterhas found God. Or as Eszterhas writes in his latest memoir, “Crossbearer,” God found him. Today, the man who once was the center of attention at exclusive Hollywood restaurants, enjoys the easygoing community spirit of sharing a meal with his wife, Naomi, and the couple’s four sons at a Lenten fish fry at Holy Angels Parish, in suburban Bainbridge, where he often carries the cross at Mass. A screenwriter who describes his younger self as arrogant and full of hubris now reads the works of Trappist Father Thomas Merton and Dutch-born Father Henri Nouwen for spiritual guidance. Days that once started and ended with cigarettes and gin, now are filled with prayer and quiet walks in nature.

 

 

Now, without saying too much, let’s just say that every life has its times of conversion…and every person lives their “growing pains” in different ways, but I can relate to this change of heart.  God works in the life of each person.  And no, nuns are NOT born with veils on their heads and rosaries in their hands.  My favorite story is of a Sister who is a friend of mine who says before she entered, she was almost kicked out of a bar one night when she had had a few beers and began to dance on the table!

There are times when I wonder, “God, how can you do your work with such plain and simple instruments?” And then, like St. Paul, I realize that is JUST why He chose me – so that HIS work would be evident.  After all, what good could I potentially do?  So God is making His presence obvious by purposely choosing a weak instrument.  (I hope all those who wonder whether or not God is calling them to religious life reread and meditate on that sentence, because often we think we are not worthy, and we are not!)

Mother Teresa of Calcutta wanted to be a pencil in the hand of God.  There was an early Salesian who told Don Bosco he wanted to be like a handkerchief in his hands.  My hope is to be that available, to be that malleable, so that God can do all the good that is possible with this Kleenex!

Why?

There is a saying that says, ANYONE can do ANYTHING at ANYTIME as long as the person has a WHY and a FOR WHOM.  Right now, I’d like to talk about our WHY…

One of the things Don Bosco said was:

It is enough for me that you are young for me to love you.

In some ways, our why is the young – our why is the face of a needy young person we see.  Why would a young woman with a promising future, perhaps a good job, a healthy intelligence, perhaps good looks, or charisma, or great friendship, and perhaps even a deep love for  a man give all this up?  Why put aside wealth, learning, personal goals and ambitions?  Why give up a future, the possibility of regulating your own life and the potential to earn, and to decide one’s own fate?  The only reason is if there is a very good answer to WHY? or FOR WHOM?

You see, for the religious – our answer to WHY rests in WHAT we do – that is, our apostolate.  In other words, for a Salesian, the answer to WHY is because there are young people out there who have no one, who have no parents on whom they can rely, who have no stable point of reference for their life, who need someone to guide and encourage them in faith, who need someone to help them and believe in them and love them…that’s WHY!

So there you have it – we’d give anything for the young…even to giving our very lives!  On the day of my first profession, August 5, 1992, I offered Jesus my life, already giving Him my all for any young person I would ever encounter…and so, I give Him it again.  I publicly renew my dedication to Him for the young *my WHY*.