There is something powerful about gathering as a family after a loss. At a funeral mass today, as we walked by the coffin, there was no denying the death that had been undergone, the finality of the loss, or the silent suffering of a family that has said goodbye to a significant member.
At the funeral for my friend’s father, the words she spoke last night came to mind. “He was a good and holy man, who lived a life that was faithful and true,” she said. She told us Sisters how after his wife left him for someone else, he cared for the kids, and never even thought of remarrying. His vows were for life. What a beautiful example of fidelity in marriage. And, she said, “He was also faithful to God,” bringing those children to weekly mass. Apparently, this man worked three jobs, and returning after 2 a.m., he brought the kids to weekly Mass, just the same.
In our world which is so affected by a lack of fidelity – less that 20% of Catholics practice their religion, we are told, and in a time when divorce prevails – some 50% of those who are married today will be divorced – it is impressive to see someone who was so upright in remaining faithful to both human and divine commitments. What a beautiful message to his children and grandchildren this man sent. His silent refusal to go along and “move on” without fulfilling his first promise speaks loudly to me of what is meant when we say we will be “true to death”. His witness of following the third Commandment, even though he could easily have excused himself for exhaustion, speaks of really putting God first!
One of my favorite sayings of Don Bosco is, “A piece of heaven fixes everything.” I love that saying because in so many ways, it rings true in my life….it forces me to ask, “What is really important?” “What really matters?” “In the end, when I stand before God, will this truly be important?” I wish I had known my friend’s dad personally. I’d like to thank him for making this all so real, for making me realize how little things are irrelevant when we think of our eternity with God.
A friend of mine teases me, saying I often reply, “Whatever.” I guess that is because in my childhood, my parents always reminded us that what most preterbs us is frequently of little or no consequence. So, Don Bosco and Joe and RoseMary Clair had a lot in common. They all looked much more at the big picture and the eternal importance of so many very little things.
Today, I promise to recall what is really important, and to focus on that so as to grow closer to God. After a few years – 80 or so – that is all that will truly matter!
